It is happening!
She wrapped her arms around me, looked in the mirror and blurted out feeling proud, “Mom, look, we are almost of the same height now!”
She was speaking of the inevitable truth. My daughter has turned 13 and she is officially a teenager with puberty hormones on a speed lane. Aside from her increasing height, her hips are getting well-rounded, her boobies taking a cup-full, and she realised she had to take care of her self more as adult perspiration and dirt will lead to not-so-cute breakouts and odours.
I just know when her period is coming. Oh the laziness! She could just sit in her study corner all day, unfortunately not to study but to watch YouTube on her phone and doodle on paper. She also has this huge appetite. All those snacking seriously has to stop so I usually show her episodes of My 600 lb Life on TLC and let her see the detrimental effects of obesity.
Dealing with my teenage daughter is in many days a hard work but is always something rewarding and close to my heart.
Here are 10 practical tips in raising a teen (based on my personal mothering experience):
- Be interested (or at least be curious) on her interests. It was of late that I learned that my teener could actually draw when I unwittingly run though her stuff one day. I soon got her a Japanese Manga book from Discovery Japan Mall so she could find more inspiration to draw and started to avoid giving the “look” for her penchant with pens and pencils.
- Invite friends over and share the dinner table. Aside from showing off my cooking skills, it is my way of knowing who her friends are, the values these fellow teeners have and what are their common interests.
- Practise cyber safety. Me and my teener are cool on not sharing personal information online, on not talking to strangers online, and on staying away from cyber bullies and sites with explicit contents.
- Let them learn the cause and effect of their actions. When my daughter flanked her exam, I let her remember the things she did weeks before the exam. What among those actions she should have done less or have done more to achieve good grades. Then she realised it could have been less time on YouTube and more time with books.
- Be clear with rules. My teener can go out with her friends but we are clear on the time of her return and how she should conduct herself on somebody else’s home or in public. Plus, she knows the emergency plan.
- Assign more (or slightly heavier) chores. Getting more adult means getting more chores. It should be a good thing when they feel they are helping mom ease with home chores or they feel fulfilled finishing a DYI home project.
- Correct but try not to scold (especially in public). Teeners can be too sensitive but if you are confident that you are raising your child well, it is enough to let them know of their mistakes. Avoid demeaning or disrespectful words.
- Show your love. It is never too cheesy to kiss and hug your teener. They might feel shy in public but it is a known secret that everybody, of whatever age, needs love and affection to promote healthy well-being.
- Encourage saving. Parents are to supply the “needs” but encourage your teener to save money and buy her own “wants” with the money she personally saved.
- Set positive example. There is no better example for your child to follow but yourself. We know them from birth and we can nurture them to become the persons they could best be.
Anyone relating to my mothering stories? Do you find my above list doable? Do you have other parenting tips you want to share? I would love to hear your stories too, leave a comment or feel free to share this post. Lovely day Moms!